Why is it important to cut toxic people from your life and how you can do it.

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You’re probably thinking, ‘Lil, hun, the answer is literally in the question’. For some people, it gets hard to remember why it is important to cut toxic people from your life. You can feel anything from guilt, shame, sadness, regret to pure and utter fear when you’re moving towards a decision to cut someone who has a rather negative impact on your life. Be it a so-called best-friend, a partner, a family member or just someone you have to deal with every day.

My main gal, Jazz, who I’m so sure you know by now, has actually written a piece on her experience with cutting out someone who was so very important to her, but unfortunately was toxic. I remember Jazz going through this and it was almost as though her ‘friend’ had passed away. It was very hard to see her struggle with herself on whether or not it was enough for her to be able to cut out this person from her life. I won’t go into too much detail, you can find Jazz’s experience on her blog here.

So, with this in mind. Here are a few tips you guys have suggested that help when you’re cutting toxic people from your life, and a reminder as to why it’s important to put yourself first in situations like this.

  • Know when your relationship/ friendship is toxic.

There’s nothing worse than having an argument with one of your friends or even your partner. But does that mean the relationship is toxic? 9 times out of 10, it’s just anger and frustration talking when arguments such as these happen. So, it’s important to identify whether or not the relationship you have with the person is toxic.

What are the signs I hear you say? Well, let me just list a few for you.

  1. They discredit you. They plant seeds of doubt in your mind about yourself and others.
  2. They lack empathy. They just see how you can help them and take what benefits them.
  3. They use your personality and emotions against you just like a bully does, but they’ll tell you they’re doing it because they love you and want you to get stronger.
  4. They manipulate you/ others to get what they want.
  5. They live for the drama.
  6. They’ll gossip without knowing the full picture.
  7. They make you feel bad about yourself and the things you love.

By knowing when the relationship is toxic, you’ve started respecting yourself more and realising you don’t need people like that in your life.

  • Reduce what you see from them.

Many people try to reduce what they see from the person they’re trying to cut out on social media. If the person you’re trying to cut out is a social media obsessive, chances are you’ll see their posts every time you scroll through your timeline or newsfeed. Reducing the amount you see from them online helps with the process of cutting them from your life.

With Facebook, Twitter and Instagram ever-evolving, you can now hit ‘snooze’ and not see or hear from that person for 30 magical days! And in those days you can really determine if your life is better with them gone completely, or if maybe it’s time to hit the ‘unfriend’ or ‘unfollow’ button rather than go straight to ‘block’.

  • Rise above it.

As easy as it sounds, it’s sometimes very hard to not end the relationship or friendship without some sort of penultimate ending…. basically ending it with a bang. That’s something toxic people thrive off of. If you make a big deal out of it, that’s really what they want, to them it really validates their criticisms of you.

I really appreciate knowing that I’m not the only one that feels like I have to make amends if I feel like by putting myself first, I’ve upset someone else. If you do that then it just makes you want to go make things right, and by doing this, dragging the process along. Say what you need to say, but leave with a peace of mind so that tie can be cut forever. Just because they hurt you doesn’t mean you have to be equally as cruel back. Be kind, be thoughtful, be free and cut those people from your life with grace and elegance.

If you need anymore motive for cutting a toxic person from your life, then I’ll leave you with this thought; everyone deserves to be happy. I mean, truly, truly happy. Not just pretending for the benefit of others or worrying if you’re unhappy you’ll upset someone. You deserve to be happy and if this person is getting in the way of your happiness and self-growth, cut them loose. If it doesn’t add to your life, it doesn’t belong in your life.

I hope you guys are staying safe and looking after one another this week! It always pays to be kind, thoughtful and caring towards other human beings. If you guys have checked out Jazz’ post then please let me know in the comments below! And if you’ve got any other advice on this matter, please do share them. Have an awfully big adventure, Lost Kids. Until next time!

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25 Comments Add yours

  1. theclutterboxblog says:

    Cutting toxic people out of your life is so hard and I’ve had to do it a few times. It’s always worth it after the pain wear away a little. Rising above it can be hard but so worth it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lily says:

      It’s the hardest part but also the most important thing to do when cutting people out. Knowing you’re better than them and dealing with the situation better than they are is worth it.

      Like

  2. Stephanie says:

    I’ve had a friend who I thought was a great friend. We did a lot together. Then it started becoming more of a hassle, more of a chore. One day, she just went off on me and told me exactly what she thought of my husband (fiance at the time) and me. I didn’t realize how toxic of a relationship it was until it was over and I actually felt relieved.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lily says:

      This is so similar to what happened with me! I was really close with this one person, and I defended them until I was blue in my face, but it just backfired and I realised I was so much better off without them. The process of getting rid of them was hard, but the most satisfying thing in the world! Hope you’re surrounded with better people now! X

      Like

  3. Rose Mont says:

    Thankfully the people I know longer associate with were not that important to me anyways so getting away from them didn’t crush me to much. I also think being an adult helps me not worry about being a people pleaser like when your a child and you want to be friends with everyone.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lily says:

      That’s definitely something I had to learn the hard way! But so worth it when you can put yourself first and do what makes you happy!

      Like

  4. Jazz says:

    Great advice, Lils! Really enjoyed doing this collab with you – so many people let toxic friendships ruin their life, I hope we can inspire and encourage others to be able to cut ties.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lily says:

      #BYEFELICIA to all those fake friends out there!

      Like

  5. It’s so important to surround yourself with people who enable you to be your best self, not those who try their hardest to make you feel like your worst selves x

    Liked by 1 person

  6. lukeosaurusandme says:

    These are some really good pointers, especially the bit about rising above it all and not letting your ‘friend’ get what they want in order to justioitvall to themselves. Sometimes you grow out of people and make these realisations, it’s happened recently with me and my partners friends…It’s a part of life but once you’ve managed to cut them out of your life, it’s like a huuuge weight has been lifted.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lily says:

      It’s such a weird feeling being relieved after cutting someone from your life! But I’m so so glad you guys are happier!

      Like

  7. Kacie says:

    I agree that it is important to make sure you cut out toxic people from your life and it is something I have made a point of doing for years if anyone breaks my trust.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lily says:

      Good on you for being brave! We could all use you as an example when needing to cut people out after our trust is broken!

      Like

  8. quitelocal says:

    I went through this recently. I did not realize the relationship was toxic until afterward. Even now I feel I need to apologize.

    Like

  9. Steph says:

    I can’t agree with this post more. It truly is hard to cut people off especially if you’ve formed a strong bond with them before. But it’s worst to stay in a relationship or friendship that you’re not comfortable in or happy with. I’ve learned how to be a stronger person by letting go what doesnt serve goodness in my life.

    Like

  10. bavariansojourn says:

    Cutting toxic people from your life is hard, but so important. I have actually found it easier to do as I have grown older, you tend to give less of a crap when people are so hard to be around. I have a few “mood hoovers” that I can do nothing about though as they are “family” and that can be annoying! 😀

    Like

  11. Lucy says:

    Toxic people do not deserve to be in your life and that is what you have to remember. Friends come and go in life and that is part of living.

    Like

  12. hann182014 says:

    I used to be friends with someone who turned evil. Not bothering with them was the best thing i did

    Like

  13. Candice says:

    This is SO important to your personal health, even though it’s really hard sometimes. Toxic people can make your life so miserable and they’re not worth it!

    Like

  14. surrounding yourself with people who love and support you is the most important! =)

    Like

  15. thevelazquezhouse says:

    Throughout my life, I have definitely done a lot of cutting toxic people out of my life, even if many of those people were family. I strongly believe that you must do what is best for yourself and your family. Sometimes that means cutting toxic people who are close to you and that is OK.

    Like

  16. Jake Ferrer says:

    I had a friend that i have been supporting with because she is really quite poor and have kids. And i really give her daughter a weekly milk and diaper until she stole something from me. Since then, i cut my connection from her.

    Like

  17. Deb Savage says:

    People can be so toxic no matter how much you like them and are best friends with them. They bring nothing positive to the table or help you move forward in life. So important to cut ties!

    Like

  18. colossalumbrella says:

    Thank you for sharing these tips! I usually distance myself with toxic people.

    Like

  19. marjiemare says:

    I only surround myself with positive energy. If someone is toxic, I will try to help but if I see their toxicity is their way of living, I will cut them and wish them well.

    Like

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