Ain’t No Respect Like Self-Respect.

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I took some time out for my own mental health recently, and I wanted to reflect on why self-respect is such a big reason as to why I decided to take a step back from the blogging world and take some well deserved me time. My motivation has been practically non-existent and it’s been very hard to sit down and actually write anything meaningful lately. So I hope by discussing ways I practice self-respect, this will inspire all of us to be kinder to ourselves and look after ourselves when we feel less than good about life.

Self-respect isn’t about dressing modestly or being polite even when people are utterly horrid towards you. It’s got a much deeper meaning to it. Having self-respect is knowing that your mind and body can’t take anymore social interaction, so you take a step back from the hustle and bustle of your social life. Having self-respect is making yourself happy. One of my favourite quotes in regards to self-respect is being able to “respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy” – Robert Tew. In short, love yourself for who you are. Love everything about yourself and be unapologetic.

If you need time to yourself because you know you’re close to breaking point, take that much needed me time. If you feel yourself and your worries being pushed aside by anyone else and their problems, put yourself first because you deserve it. That’s really what self-respect is all about. It’s not being selfish if you need to put yourself first. It’s something we often forget to do, so to practice it more would benefit everyone’s wellbeing.

Lately, I’ve been feeling as if my mind can’t take anymore information. I feel like I’m stuck in this cloudy limbo that doesn’t lead to anywhere, I feel as though I’ve lost my purpose in life and can’t figure out what exactly I’m going to do for the rest of my life. My head feels foggy and I know for a fact that I’m unable to socialise properly like a 21-year-old gal should. But after many years of facing similar feelings and thoughts, I’ve come to realise I respect myself enough to know it’s time for me to take a step back and regain my grip on reality.

I respect myself enough to know that I shouldn’t ever compare myself to others. Some heal quicker than others, some take time to regain themselves after any type of setback be it big or small, and that’s perfectly fine. Everyone is different and unique in their own way, one recovery will be completely different from another.  I respect myself to know that I can take as much time as I need in order to get myself back on track, and I’m the only one who gets to decide what this means and when it happens. At the moment, I’m working in a theatre in Cardiff as a box office assistant and a receptionist. It’s nothing like Lush, it’s not fast paced, Saturdays are the quietest days of the week and the work is fairly easy. I’m just taking my time to figure out what my next step is. My job and my colleagues are helping me recover from the huge setback with the BBC, they’re giving me that time to regain myself. My point here is, I know that other people might not have needed to take this job up because they’d probably have a Plan B already in place. Which is perfectly fine. But with the self-respect I have, I know I should never compare myself to others because they are not me. Maybe this is what I need at the moment to keep my head above the waves.

For many years suffering with depression, anxiety and bipolar it’s been a difficult ride. If anything all this hassle with my mental health has taught me, is that being kind to myself is a key part in having self-respect. When thinking or talking to myself, I always find myself being harsh and critical. I’d never speak to anyone else like this, so why should I talk to myself like that? Being kinder to yourself really helps to improve your state of mind.

I hope this post gives you guys some food for thought when you’re considering self-respect and how it has an impact on your mental wellbeing and overall quality of life. Self-respect is self defined. Don’t let anyone else tell you what it is, because only you know what you can respect about yourself. Until next time, Lost Kids, have an awfully big adventure for me.

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18 Comments Add yours

  1. It is very true that only you know your own level of self respect, don’t let anyone tell you differently x

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  2. bskye7 says:

    thank you so much for sharing this — it is so important to remember to respect ourselves and know our boundaries and limits – bryanna skye

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  3. Joanna says:

    The fact that you are 21 and don’t know where your life is heading at the moment is perfectly normal. I am 30 and I have changed my career 3 times, starting from 0. It’s important to do things, you never regret the things you do, just the ones you don’t. So keep your head up high, good things will come back to you soon! 🙂

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  4. Sarah Bailey says:

    I would never have thought of it being knowing when to take a step back, mind you I probably put my head down and just go go go with stopping and thinking to much about when I should stop and take a few minutes.

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  5. Laura Dove says:

    I have struggled with my mental health my whole adult life, I think taking some time out and having a step back is so important.

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  6. Ana De-Jesus says:

    I have had mental health struggles from a very young age so I completely identify with you saying that you need time away from others, and sometimes that can be from the things that we love as well. The idea of self-respect is something I am still new to as growing up I would abuse my body and my mind,I was very cruel to myself but now I find I am a lot better at being positive towards myself and not fixating on what other people think.

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  7. Amen! I always preach about self respect because I think it’s so important and yes, you’re totally right with everything you said!

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  8. I know it must have been hard for you but I am sure you will get over this. Indeed learning to have self-respect and self-love. It may be hard but I know everything will be alright.

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  9. Shoshana Sue says:

    This is an interesting look at self-respect – I have always thought of it like you said as being polite and dressing modestly. Great write up even though you say you haven’t had the motivation to write lately. You are doing great!

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  10. rhianwestbury says:

    I am so sorry that you feel this way, but if taking a step back and working on yourself will help then you’re so right to do it x

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  11. Taking some time out for you and looking after yourself is extremely important. I hope you’re OK.

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  12. Good for you – time out and reflection are so important and helps you to take stock x

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  13. Steve KingUk says:

    We all need time away from things ad knowing that we know that is a good thing and it is okay!

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  14. Elizabeth says:

    Time away to rest, reflect and recuperate is such an essential part of what we need to do, as humans, I think. Even more so if there are other issues involved. You’re still very young (I’m 41 now, 21 was a lifetime ago for me!) and it sounds like you’ve got a very good grasp of self-respect and how it influences us. I’m still working on that, myself. Stay strong; keep being awesome. 🙂

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  15. fussfreejen says:

    It can be so difficult to recognise when to stop, or step back. Far too easy to keep pushing yourself forward, even when you’re hurting yourself to do so. Being aware of how you are feeling, and what is going on is key. And with that, we have found our self respect. Life is a learning curve, some lessons are harder than others, but all doable.

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  16. I love that quote from Robert Tew and it’s definitely something I need to work on myself this year. It’s difficult letting go of things though..

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  17. Sarah Ann says:

    I can completely relate to this post because I took some time out myself too recently which I badly needed. I lack motivated and everything was tinged with feelings of self doubt. I feel a lot better now, but it was really difficult. Nice to know I’m not alone.

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  18. I am glad you know what self respect is. So many people don’t and it’s really sad.

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