‘What does it mean..’ is a question we ask ourselves fairly often. We can be questioning ourselves, our judgments, a situation, a text message or even a tricky test or exam. This is a question I’ve been asked many times before in regards to my bipolar and it doesn’t get any easier to explain. It’s a question I’ve asked myself a thousand times about mixed messages and signals from people I’ve been crushing on. It’s a question that is sometimes so hard to answer, so why do we ask it?
We spend so much time asking what things mean instead of actually finding out and learning what things mean, how people feel, how things work the way they do. Recently, I decided I’d push myself to come out of my comfort zone and experience new things with new people. Instead of asking what does it mean, I’ve started to ask, what can I do to find out the meaning of *insert name of dilemma here*?
It’s definitely a challenge, trying to think of ways to resolve my many, if somewhat small, dilemmas. But it’s given me the chance to socialize more and experience more. Sometimes it means putting myself and my feelings out there, and with doing that there comes a possible risk of being hurt, but, and this is a big BUT, I get the answers I’m looking for. Sometimes the answers aren’t always the ones I want, but heck, doesn’t that apply to most things in life?
Asking the hard questions in life will always give you the answers you need to hear. It’ll save you asking ‘what does it mean?’ and making yourself crazy going around in circles with potential possibilities. Asking harder questions will also help you grow as a person. For me, it’s helped me become a person that doesn’t fear what others say, or possible outcomes in life. It’s strengthened my confidence and my ability to communicate more freely around people. I feel as though I’ve opened a new window in my life for people to see me for who I am. For me to express myself the way I need to. I feel ready for any outcome. I feel ready for any love, hurt, disappointment, joy, pride and everything in between. All because I stopped asking what does it mean, and started asking, what can I do to find out the meaning of something.
This might sound like a pretentious post by a girl in her 20’s, not yet to experience life at it’s best. If it does, please know that was never my intention when writing this post. Think of it more as advice from someone who used to be afraid to look at her own shadow in fear of seeing something she wouldn’t like. Now she’s asking hard questions and not worrying about the answers. To me, that’s what life means. Asking questions, being ready to face whatever the day throws at you, and to be kind to everyone and accept them for who they are.
I hope this doesn’t make me sound crazy or that I’m having an episode (trust me, I’m not this thoughtful when I’m having an episode, as you probably knew after I wrote this post during a depressive one). I just wanted to share my advice and let people know it’s okay to live and to ask questions and to feel something more than the dreaded ‘what if’ / ‘what does it mean’ feeling. Always seek out answers to your questions. You’ll be happier for knowing.
Until next time, have an awfully big adventure, Lost Kids.